Falling
by IrisWrites
Summary: Highschool!au. Romano struggles with being bullied at school and struggles with forgiving any of them even if some were only considered as wearisome from association. Sometimes it's not depression that makes you that way, sometimes it's just the way you've been treated. And Romano is getting tired of being treated that way, tired of being reduced to just another shell of a victim.
1. Prologue

so this is prompt # 4 and i'm not sure how many chaps it'll have 6u6. romano used instead of lovino because of personal reasons. Feedback is always helpful!

xxx

This was the place where he found peace, the place where he found that he could escape the assholes that tries to pin him into a wall of guilt and self-deprecation daily. The art teacher didn't know why he always came in and she never asked, she only left the door open for him. Maybe it was because his little brother was constantly there so it wasn't much of a difference to have the older one be there also. Whatever her reason was, he was grateful she never questioned his presence.

The room was almost empty by then, only he and Feliciano remain and his brother was too busy burying his face in his painting to pay him much attention. Which was swell for Romano because once Feliciano opens his mouth it was nearly impossible to shut him up. Usually Feliciano does talk to him, but when the young boy starts focusing on his work he stops completely besides the occasional mumbling and unsatisfied sighs.

In a way, Romano admires that part of his brother, to be so serious about something and so in love with it. At the same time he felt jealous of him. Feliciano was clearly talented while Romano was clearly, well, _not_. And that was something Romano had come to accept a long time ago. Not that it matter, he didn't care, he could give two shits if he was just an untalented fuck that has nothing going for him in his life.

Straying his eyes from his brother's hunched over figure, Romano looked outside the window to where the PE field laid filled with a bunch of assholes kicking a ball around with their feet. Don't get him wrong, he didn't call them that for no appropriate reason, he has a perfect reason why he calls them that. As typical as it may sound, those are the guys that try to give him hell every day at school. Try to remind him that being him was the most sinful thing he's ever done in his existence and he needed to be punished for that.

Over the years he had let himself believe them, let their verbal bullying tear him down until he couldn't stand to wake up every morning. There were no bruises, no marks to show when he asked for help, only the ones they left on his mentality. But, it wouldn't work out anyways, he was too much of a wuss to tell anyone why he was being bullied for. So he learned how to avoid those jackasses instead, how to keep his head low and zone their voices out while harboring a deep hatred for them. To be exact, it wasn't everybody on the soccer team, just 8 out of the 18 players, but he didn't trust any of them and he could care less if they were innocent of his assumption.

Romano watched, kept his eyes away from the ones he recognized and stared at the captain. The captain, he's met him before. Last Sunday really, when he wanted to escape the house and all the commotion with the upcoming baby his cousin was having.

It was at the beach that he usually escape to. There was something about the ocean air and the crashing of the waves that calmed him. It was his "special place" if you'd like to call it that. After having bought himself ice cream, Romano wanted to head down the the sand where there was a little spot people didn't come to a lot.

There was someone playing the guitar, which wasn't unusual since this sort of place attracts those sort easily. Curious, he had walked over to get a better hearing.

_ Quizá no fue coincidencia encontrarme contigo _

_ Tal vez esto lo hizo el destino _

_ Quiero dormirme de nuevo en tu pecho _

_ Y después me despierten tus besos _

To his masked delight, the guitar was played well and the voice accommodated the instrument naturally, even if the song was in Spanish and he could understand jack shit of it. Coming closer to take a look at the singer, Romano could feel all the delight drain from his body once he saw who it was.

He didn't expect to find one of them here, not like that. Romano could feel his anxiety suddenly spiked and it was like his feet were glued to the ground. His feet wouldn't move, no matter how much he urged them too until someone bumped into him and started yelling at him for standing in the way. Normally he would've snapped back at them but this time, all he wanted to do was apologize quickly and get the fuck out of there. Thinking about it still gives him a burning feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Fratello, grandpa's here, it's time to go. Fratello? Fratello," a hand shook him out of his memory. His head turned back to his brother, giving him a confused look before registering what was said.

"What? Oh, oh right, it took him fucking long enough. Did you clean up?"

Feliciano nodded, pointing at his full bag. Romano snorted and got up from the stool he was sitting on and followed his brother out of the art room to the exit gate of the school, the memory of that day fading back to the back of his mind again. With his brother he felt safe, as weak and pathetic as that may sound, nobody picked on him while he was there.

Being dependent on his younger brother for protection was something he hated but something he knew he needed but will never tell about. Something else to add to the list of things he hated about himself.

xxxx

okay, I need to make some clarification, the person romano met at the beach isn't one of the bully, just part of the team romano associate the bullies with, therefore, being scared of him too. The title might change since i'm not sure about the current one right now. I'll upload it on my soon after this.

Translation to the spanish music, got it from a website sorry:

Maybe it was no coincidence for us to meet  
Maybe this was destiny.  
I want to fall asleep in your chest again  
and then be awaken by your kisses.

song found here - www . youtube com / watch?v=mUuutANkYQo


	2. Chapter 1

4 A.M. and the tick-tock of the clock was the only sound that was loud enough to be heard over the chirping of the birds outside the window. It was far too early for the sun to shine pass the drapes at this time, far too early for anything really. But there he was, laying wide awake in bed, insomnia soaked deep into his body and all attempts to fall back to sleep abandoned.

Thoughts after thoughts ran through his head, some only stayed for a few seconds before another replaced it. Romano wanted them to stop, quiet down so he could maybe mentally breathe a bit instead of being suffocated in them. One thought in particular bothered him the most out of all of them. It wasn't that he thought into it too much but the fact that it kept coming back to him, repeating itself like an empty mantra. It flickered in and out; the strumming of a guitar, a boyish voice singing in a language he hardly understands, or the light laughter that almost sounds irritably mocking.

Every time it came back he tried to shoo it away, relieved whenever another thought replaced it. The thought made him feeling uneasy, which was funny because his thoughts always made him feel uneasy, so what difference did this one make? The guy wasn't even one of those assholes, he was just in the same team of them, no big deal. But Romano knew it was a big deal or else it wouldn't be bothering him so much.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to steady himself and slow down how quickly he was starting to over think it. This was stupid, over-thinking some random meeting was stupid and he was being stupid for letting himself do it. Pulling the blanket closer to him, Romano turned to his side and fixed his attention on the alarm clock that sat on the table beside him, wishing it would be 7 already.

There wasn't much he could do about it, nothing to distract himself or help him clear his head without waking up the rest of the family. The walls to their rooms were thin, even the buzzing sound of his alarm could be heard from his grandpa's bedroom.

With a final groan of resignation, Romano fisted his blanket in his hands and closed his eyes, knowing full well he's not really going to get any sleep but he might as well try before he ends up falling asleep in his classes.

—-

To say that Romano has no friends at school would be an understatement. Maybe not as many as Feliciano has but enough that he didn't really care that the only parties he was invited to were baby showers. Admittedly, those weren't so bad as long as his cousin didn't make him sit there and try to talk to their friends.

During lunchtime that day, Romano happened to yawn, which was something typical and both Berwald and Romano knew it so it was a bit confusing for him when his friend asked him if he's gotten any sleep last night.

"You already know I have sleeping issues," he answered, shrugging the question off with a bite of his chicken tender.

"Something bothering you?" And there it was, the question he was hoping Berwald wouldn't ask him because while they weren't the type of friends to openly share their problems with each other, Berwald seem to have a sixth sense whenever something was bothering him too much.

He snorted, "that's a stupid question." That wasn't the answer he wanted to say, that wasn't it at all. Cursing at himself mentally, he quickly corrected himself, "something's always bothering me, this one isn't any different."

Berwald let out a soft sigh, knowing well that Romano was going to be stubborn about it. "You're eating school food, you only do that when you skip breakfast because something else is on your mind."

Romano laughed, "you're not my fucking dad Berwald, eat your lunch and stop worrying about me so much." After a short pause, he added (to reassure him), "I'll tell you later."

The Swedish boy nodded before offering Romano part of his lunch since he knew that Romano didn't really want the so call 'chicken' their school passed out.

"I forgot, are you coming over to the ice cream shop today? Father hired someone new, maybe you can help him with how to work the machines."

"Do I ever say no to an invite? If he's not too much of a pain in the ass to teach, I guess I wouldn't mind. What's the kid's name?"

"Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, captain of the school's soccer team, I think. He seems good with the customers bu- Romano? Romano are you okay?"

Everything about that day was fine, everything until he found out who that new employee was and now he wish he hadn't agreed to help so quickly. He didn't want to meet the damn bastard, he didn't want to even come 5 feet near him so why is this happening? A bunch of ideas ran through his head and he tried to push them away, not wanting them to make him feel worse than he already was. Romano felt sick, letting himself lose control of his breathing and started to hyperventilate.

"Romano? Romano?! What's wrong? Romano?" Berwald shook at him, trying to get Romano to snap out of it. "Breathe, breathe, it's okay. Romano, listen to me, breathe, calm down. You're going to be alright, what's wrong?"

"W-what? Nothing," he took a deep breath, telling his nerves to calm down, trying to tell himself to calm down. After several minutes he was fine again and pushed Berwald's hand away, giving him a sheepish smile, "shit, sorry about that, you can stop worrying I'm fine now. The bell is gonna ring soon, let's get to the stairs already."

The other gave him a concerned look but agreed, helping Romano to his feet before asking, "you'll tell me later?"

"Yeah…I'll tell you later."

**xxxxx**

Aaaand I finally got a 2nd chapter out. It didn't go as plan but I'm glad the story is somewhat moving along. This is my first time trying to write Sweden so I'm sorry if he wasn't in character. And thank you Maria (shooptastic) for reading the first part and telling me your thoughts about it! Thanks for reading guys!


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